I still have no idea

Post number 3, by Shanti.

I still have no idea, where or what I want to be in 2 years.

Why 2 years? Because in 2 years I get my Bsc. After that I should start working, become independent and focus on a career and family. It seems so far off, but I know it’s so near.  It’s scary.

I have no idea what I want to do. Yes, I have chosen my courses, but I still have no clue what i want to do and what career path I should or want to take. I’m not even sure if what I’m studying is for me. I used to love it, and I used to be so sure, but now not so much.

I miss that.

Right now all I feel is inadequacy, there is nothing I’m really good at and nothing I want to be good at. I have no natural talents and practically no drive. I’m the kind of person who sits back and lets the world pass her by.

But I can’t any longer. I need to make a choice, I need to start living my life.

I need to step out of this stupor. I know I will.

Just give me a sec,

any minute now…